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2nd january 2018

This is the day i make a difficult choice. I just finished a nights out with my friends in sundhara, of which my parents are oblivious, i decided to keep it a secret. I told them it was a nights out in a friends home. Actually we booked a room in sundhara and it was kind of wild. Humm i am off topic, the thing here is not about my new year eve but thing that is much more critical. i have come to this stage of my life that it seems like all my previous plans have failed. wait it is not failure in an absolute sense but a failure in a relative sense. This is because, initial me had planned my whole life, like i would do my masters in aeronautical engineering in Germany. Without knowing any scope of work there or if i return back in nepal. So this was old me. I had set my goals in such way. But now as i grow up and discover things. I found that being fixated to Germany was not a good choice. However this is not a sense of depression. I had good times in Deutsch classes. I made lot of good friends and gained a lot.

Now as i am growing old i come to think that being fixated to one thing is not a good sign. u are always smarter then than now. So fixing goals today may hamper tomorrows u. Today i feel a sense of failure not cz i am not in a good place but because if made some things in my mind in my past that are now not practicle. So its like i made some promishes to myself without much thought. And now i come to realize that it was not smart of me to think in that way. So now i feel failure cz i couldnt do what i said 3 years back.

However, in some facebook post i read " it better to leave it all and do what u can today and enjoy life". So this is what i want to do from now on. What i do today will define my path for tomrrow, but fixing my path will not define me. Efforts should be 100% in what u are doing but the path should not be 100%. This is what i have learnt from my mistakes. So i promish to myself this very begining of 2018 that i wont be fixated on things, rather just do what i can today.

By this i mean, today i am an employee in an office. So i will do what i am paid for. And along with that i need to study for my NAC exams.
What better way to do it than blogging. So i will be blogging about Preperation classes for NAC 2018.

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